American Horror Story – Season 3 Episode 13 – The Seven Wonders Review

ImageAs the girls prepare for the seven wonders, all of us prepared to say goodbye to another season of AHS.

An evening that started with caviar and champagne turned into a gruesome night of horror and well.. surprises.

Image

Everything was going well while the four witches performed the Seven Wonders, however it went tits when Misty died while descending to the next level. If you don’t make it by sunrise, you’re dead. She didn’t make it and sadly she ended up on a loop dissecting a frog over and over again. She turned to ashes and everyone had no choice but to move on.

Image

After a game of ‘transmutation tag’, Zoe has an accident and ends up pinned to the front gate. Madison was at this point bragging about her powers, because that’s what she does best but when she refused to revive Zoe, she paid the price.

Image

Kyle goes to the room and murders her. She had it coming for sure. Her old friend Spaulding made an appearance and told Kyle he would bury the body. Yeah right.

Image

Cordelia ends up performing the Seven Wonders and she ends up being the Supreme. She revives Zoe and makes her and Queenie her wingmen. Myrtle tells Cordelia that she wants to be burned at the stake, for killing the other witches so Cordelia has little choice but to respect her wishes.

Image

Image

Fiona shows up, looking sick and less than glamorous. She tells Cordelia her standard speech of how much she hates her and then  babbled about putting a memory inside the Axe man’s brain, to fake her death. She inceptioned the hell outta him.

Image

In the end she dies in Cordelia’s arms looking vulnerable and scared. Sadly it didn’t end there for Fiona. Everyone pays the price, so she ended up living in a stinky shack with her beloved killer boyfriend.

Cordelia goes to the media and tells everyone about her coven and the existence of witches, and opens the academy for all girls who have powers. It was way too happy of an ending for a show that can terrify you to the core, but perhaps with the whole witch theme they were aiming for something a bit more lighthearted?

Image

Notes

Myrtle 😦

The levitating piano was definitely a very fun moment.

Are you looking forward to next season?

The Ninja’s Assistant

American Horror Story – Season 3 Episode 12 – Go To Hell Review

Image

This year’s Coven has already been a living hell, but somehow, everything was enhanced this episode.

The 7 wonders are forms of advanced magic that a chosen witch has to perform to become the next Supreme. These ‘wonders’ include mind control, pyrokinesis, transmutation (like teleporting), etc.

It ‘s clear that for a while the girls have been fighting to become the next Supreme, however, nothing was really certain until now. With Marie gone missing after her fatal fall down the stairs, Queenie becomes suspicious and starts searching for her. When she confronts Fiona, all she gets is a forceful invitation to perform the seven wonders so that Fiona can kill them one by one until she finds the Supreme. After taking a visit to the underworld, Queenie has a chat with Papa Legba who explains to her that Marie is now dead. After these revelations, Queenie finds Madame Lalaurie, living in her old home. It’s like night at the museum but with torture.

Image

It was nice to see Queenie trying to offer redemption to Mme Lalaurie, however, everyone has their limits and it was goodbye to that nasty little party host.

Zoe is back, after being in Florida I guess she realised that she can’t just walk away from who she is. It was only a matter of time before she came back, this was surprisingly quick but not unexpected.

Cordelia’s power kicks in when she tries on her grandmother’s necklace. This triggers a series of events that can only be described as BLOODY. She has a premonition and sees a massacre with Fiona being the guilty party, so she does the logical thing that any blind woman should do: Go see the Axe Man and warn him about Fiona.

This episode was all about Cordelia, and it was excellent to see her taking control of the situation and helping find some answers. Her good intentions paid off because she found Misty and got her back to the witch house. Misty kicked Madison’s ass for pretty much burying her alive. It was epic because Madison is an insufferable witch and also because Misty used no magic, just her fists.

Image

A heartbroken Axe Man killed Fiona, and subsequently attempted to kill the witches. Big Mistake and bad timing because the witches stabbed him with kitchen knives. Repeatedly is an underestimation.

Image

Madame Lalaurie and Marie are sharing the same hell. One is in a cage watching the other torture her daughters, one by one. Papa Legba did say that everybody pays.

With Fiona gone, Cordelia decides that all the witches will be tested for the seven wonders. A new Supreme needs to rise and there is no time to waste or episodes left.. tik tok…

Notes

When Fiona got killed and she was saying ‘I had a cat’ and then splat!

Queenie offering a second chance to Mme Lalaurie was a great moment for the show, it proved that even through all the hate she had found a bit of good. Too late now.

Papa Legba is amazing and I am proud they gave Lance Reddick a chance to portray something else than an FBI agent. He truly does an excellent job.

Fiona we will miss you and your decadence

The Ninja’s Assistant

American Horror Story – Season 3 Episode 11 – Protect the Coven Review

Image

Crazy just got crazier in New Orleans. American Horror Story only has one more episode to go before the end of season, and this one was no let down. When you think it can’t get any weirder and twisted, it just does. Boom!

This episode takes us straight to 1830, where we get to see a bit of Mme Lalaurie’s life before she was immortal. She kills a chicken for dinner, and from there it jumps straight to her killing and torturing a slave. These are tough scenes to watch, however when it comes to this show it is the norm. A lot of the first half of the episode is dedicated to seeing Lalaurie go from glitz and glamour to being a 24 hr slave to the witches of the coven. It’s not like she doesn’t deserve it though.

Image

We say goodbye to Nan and hello again to Queenie, who is alive and kicking after receiving a bullet to the head. She is powerful, in mind and language because she made sure to give Cordelia a piece of her mind. It was an unexpected comeback considering that AHS comes second to Game of Thrones for dead people.

Zoe is determined to find out who killed Nan, so she makes a spell in the bathroom, with Luke in tow and discovers the truth. her and Luke are in love now, so Madison goes into her standard ‘bitch mode’ and ruin the day. She even dared to threaten Myrtle! Who would dare to threaten her? She’s like cotton candy!

The fight for Supreme is not helping the coven in any way. While Queenie and Madison keep claiming they’re ‘all that’, Cordelia was busy ripping out her own eyes to regain a so called ‘Second Sight’ and see any harm ahead. So yeah, a less senses more senses kinda thing. Lack of common sense in my opinion.

Spaulding is still around, as a ghost I suppose and he tricks Mme Lalaurie in the most fantastic and less horrific way ever. He makes her buy a doll in exchange for a potion to kill Marie, the voodoo queen. His answer? Benadryl. Yeah, let’s abuse the ignorance of this 19th century woman in exchange for a creepy doll. Only Spaulding I swear. His creepiness should be in a hall of fame for creeps.

Image

Image

Marie and Fiona are close. When I say close I mean they have mani-pedis together and they drink champagne as a pair. They both scare me to death, so having them already being buddies could terrify the Hulk. Those two witches went on a business meeting with those ‘hunters’ and ended up killing them. Well, Fiona made her killer boyfriend do it. Logistics. Except for the boss, she killed him with passion and determination. Her two best assets.Image

Image

After the ‘Meet and Chop’ Marie celebrated with some cocktails, unaware that the Benadryl was reaching her system.

ImageMme Lalaurie stabbed her, in her ignorance and ended up being chased by a very angry, yet drugged voodoo queen. It was Spaulding who saved the day, smashed Marie in the head (with a doll, obviously) and told Lalaurie to bury her. To bury her well so she couldn’t get out. Imagine the boredom of immortality inside a coffin. Torture.

Spaulding did it all for a reason, because if you learn anything from being the help, is that you see everything and know everything.

SPAULDING HAS THE BABYYYYYY!!!!! SOMEONE CALL SOCIAL SERVICES!!

Out of all the terrifying things that I thought could happen to that poor child, that is by far the worst!

Can’t wait to see what the final episode holds!

Notes

‘You flush my shit bitch’. OMG. I mean, are spoiled celebs really like this? People can’t be bothered to flush??

Queenie screaming at Cordelia was harsh. I mean, Cordelia might be naive, but she is a good hearted witch. Give her a chance.

Spaulding and Madame Lalaurie bonding while getting rid of the body was a great moment for the season. We get to understand the reasons behind their obsessions.

Orlando Zoe? Disney World!!!

American Horror Story – Season 3 Episode 10 – The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks Review

Picture 6

The internet has been talking about the current episode of American Horror Story non stop. It comes as no surprise seeing as it was amazing. It had all the elements that make the show great; spells, death, Stevie Nicks singing next to a piano, the list is endless…

This week showed us that once again, nothing is what it seems in witch town. Every episode it seems as if someone else is going to be the Supreme, but nothing is quite clear yet, (although we all know who it might be). The good thing is that whoever it is, is keeping Fiona away from the crown and her powers. She is still dying.

In a very surprising twist, Marie and Fiona have bonded somehow, with Marie going as far as saying ‘it’s a relief to have found an equal’. I guess bitches do stick together after all.

Image

It was great to see some of Marie’s back story. It made the episode different from the rest, focusing more on her deal with Papa Legba and less on the whole ‘witch hunt’. It was refreshing to see more of Marie, perhaps now that Jessica Lange is leaving the show she will take over as queen-bee of all things cray.

We got to see the bad guys pretty much going bankrupt after the witches put a spell on them for their hunting. It is clear we haven’t seen the end of these hunters just yet. Now they have felt the witches’ rage they will attack will full force no doubt!

Fiona is having real bad luck, and karma is catching up with her because, after trying to do the ‘Marie’ and invoke Papa Legba, the deal failed. He was having none of it, because she had no soul. Lolz, as if we hadn’t already noticed.

She still has cancer and her boyfriend is a murderer. At least she’s friends with Stevie Nicks, so she’s got that going for her which is nice.

Misty was once again her very naïve self. After a wicked funeral scene, she got hit in the head with a brick by Madison and that was that. She was in a coffin. On the other hand, Madison should know better. It was Misty who brought her back to life, so clearly the girl is coming back.

A lot of this episode focused on Nan, she went from being a super witch with mind control powers, to just hanging out with Papa Legba. Smart girl, can’t blame her for choosing better surroundings.

Towards the end, Fiona and Marie proved us once again that they are indeed the magic duo, when they murdered Nan on the tub and sealed the deal with Papa. Clever girls.

Notes

Stevie Nicks. Awesome!!!

Myrtle is so crazy that she reminds me of that teacher from the Magic School Bus.

Image

Papa Legba is Broyles from Fringe!!! Mind.. BLOWN! It has been a delight seeing him in such a different character than his usual FBI/Police roles.

Every time they say supreme I just think Diana Ross

Am I the only one who skips the intro? The noise is truly something out of a nightmare.

The Ninja’s Assistant